Friday, March 18th, 2005
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12:49 pm - let me see if the blades sharpe
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i hope this spring break is good. it looks promising. brian asked me to go to the beach w/ carley adn aaron adn ashley and greg...i dont thinkk i was invvited it feels a little weird but im goona text carley...maybe well get to hang otu when she gets back from atlanta...im so sad roxys grounded...alots going on...im full of secrets....haha.
current mood:  awake
current music: senses fail- lady in a blue dress
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Tuesday, March 15th, 2005
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12:51 pm - i have a open knife looking for someone to run into it
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lately i have felt crazily isolated from the ones i love or loved. except for brandon and all of his friends who are now my friends and i love them. i miss the summer....the ocean breeze... the bike rides...bike slaps...late nite cookouts....the movies( almost the end of me since matt saved carley...he loves her best!) haha. everything. i hope this summer will be better. you know ppl say that you go thru times in your life when you feel alone.....i hope mines almost done. ifilled out my selection card for next year...im finally gonna be a senior...i cried in the bathroom looking over things...why am i an emotional mess? since when did i cry so much? oh and i keep getting sick adn i threw up 2 mornings in a row and my mom asked me if i was pregnant....it made me laugh.
"ladies love polo shirts"- brandon
also were selling our house and moving into a new mobile home next door. i dunno why. but i will have my own bedroom and ppl can come over....movie nite at my house?
also robbie is rick james bitch
and protein is good for you i SWEAR!!!!
and i love roxy...shes so foxy..haha.
and matt says i go to far...haha
current mood: stressed
current music: Senses Fail- Martini Lullaby
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Thursday, March 10th, 2005
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12:59 pm
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i have a box of memories that i never open. i opened them last nite. i cried myself to sleep. i wish....for so many things to be different than the way they are..i miss old times like the summer...i miss carley and how close we used to be..i miss an old friend who used to be cool but now is weird and hates and talks crap about one of the nicest ppl i know. honestly everything was better before this year. if i could burry myself in memories i wouold...bury myself alive.
current mood:  weird
current music: Taking Back Sunday- #6
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Friday, March 4th, 2005
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8:26 am
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i am in trouble..its sucks. carley knows....DONT TELL! my life sucks...and brandon is crazy...i dont know how the next 2 dayz will be...i might end up running away...not...
current mood:  angry
current music: anger
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Wednesday, March 2nd, 2005
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8:36 am
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well since my last update i went to the concert which was awesome! then i didnt go to school for 6 days in a row. i dont no whats wrong w/ me. but im having fun hanging w/ brandon and alicia and theresa and glenn and bobby and levon and ryan and nick and everyone else...alot of ppl. i want to go back to pasco. im getting a school choice form...im excited. i miss my old friends tho. maybe things will go back to normal.. maybe.
current mood: weird
current music: papa roach- #1
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Thursday, February 17th, 2005
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8:28 am - Taxation
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well me and melissa pastora are chillin in 1st bored as hell. melissa got taxed and marc betourney got her fired....for firing up. so everyone call him out. i will. on the bright side hopefully she gets a job with me at sonny's barbq b/c that would be happy...haha. i feel crazy. these energy pills make my tummy hurt and my brain go into overdrive. and all of a sudden alot of boyz like me...what? since when did i become so...wanted? crazy. its like ive just been discovered. and for the first time the one person ive loved 4ever loves me back and....i dunno what to do. i love lil RJ hes so cute..and nice...and i can tell him to do anything. hes my lil puppy...follows me around..how cute. monday i have to get off work so i can go to the fair. w/ carley and RJ and aaron i think. hopefully carley and i can go to webster flea market that morning so that would be awesome! and my concert is friday...awesome!!!! daniella and i are so excited! i cannot wait! and i dont have to drive anymore. her mom is... gas money saved! yes! well im gonna go guys....see ya soon! muah!
current mood:  just kidding
current music: Black Jack Boys- Get Down
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Monday, January 24th, 2005
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10:14 am - and all that i wanted for christmas was to be told that you love me
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this weekend was good. except friday nite when i sat at home b/c i was grounded and i couldnt go out w/ brandon though he called me alot...at least we talked. i believe we might hangout today? i dunno. saturday i worked 11-3 then i went home and cleaned crap for my mom...then it was Girls Nite Out!! it was so very pleasant in every way except when i badly injured my elbow on carleys bird...which is made of iron and i had to buckle it up in a seat belt so it wouldnt hurt me anymore....but we went to macaroni grill and took funny pictures...and i made my own pasta which was delicious and i thought about being a chef b/c it was so good. haha. also i silently whispered to the waitor that it was hannahs bday so he came out w/ the cake and she was so surprised...lol. i had a bunch of fun and we should do it more often..oh and carley likes bread...ALOT! ha.ha. oh and there was a ghost that was haunting carleys car and messing w/ her lights so i told hannah to roll down the window to let it out and then it stopped. i am a genious..so if theres ever a ghost in your car roll down the window and let it out. gosh. then sunday i had to work 3-10 and i made $47 dollars. not bad since i only got like 6 tables the whole time b/c we were so freaking slow due to the football game. ugh. i work again tuesday..hopefully more mulah! oh and if anyone needs ones...ASK ME PLEASE!!!!!
current mood:  energetic
current music: park bench rant
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Monday, January 10th, 2005
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8:23 am - feeling good but somethings missing?
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well im glad everyone had fun at the potluck and that i didnt even no about it...thats cool. but i had fun watching movies at chelsea's and i didnt feel like eating anyways. wow that sounds childish. anyways things change and change is good. i like it. but not as much as i love technology. now that is truely funny. people r weird. im weird. lifes crazy. why is everyone not wanting to do anything w/ each other when its your last year of high school ever? maybe ppl just dont realize it and i do b/c im a junior and i am very aware of everything. but i have a feeling that alot of ppl will have regrets about things when they look back..i hope that i dont have that many. actually now that im thinking about this about a certain few ppl i am getting upset and my happiness is important to me so ithink im done.
current mood: annoyed
current music: papa roach- scars
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Friday, January 7th, 2005
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5:11 am - i feel eyelashes on my cheek....
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thats a really good song by Atreyu. brandons got me hooked on that cd and funeral for a friend. theyre awesome. well im still hooked on him. damn. just when i thought it was over 4 good. oh well. soon enough well be going to college tho we might both be going to UF. if i can get in. he has great grades so im sure he'll go. hopefully i will 2 b/c ive always wanted to go there since...forever. lately things have been good. had a few weird incidents w/ boys over the break...boys are weird. but i had the best break of my life so far. i did something every single nite and i hung out w/ brandon alot. i was supposed to hangout w/ him tonite but he is going to his hunting house and he said i could go but sounds gross so no. i have no clue what i am doing tonite. hopefully something? but everythings cool..thats about it.
current mood: hopeful
current music: Funeral For A Friend
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Wednesday, December 1st, 2004
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10:23 am - Payday!
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today is payday! thank god. i have like 20 dollars and i hate being almost broke. this checks gonna be a big one..yes! anyways...today is good so far. i have to take my ap bio test 6th period! im not ready for it i feel but oh well. i hope i shall do fine. we have 4 days until nbt4! crazy excited i am. last nite had to work..sherrod visited me 3 times. lol. it was funny. made me smile b/c i was having a bad working expereince. went home and hung out w/ my mom. i love that lady. shes nice at times...but i hope all is well with everyone else. ciao.
current mood: happy
current music: sugarcult- back to california
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Tuesday, November 30th, 2004
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10:17 am - M E M O R A N D U M
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memorandum is the word of the day. i have learned it in this horrible computer class where me and claudine are the only non freshman! uh. children. so yesterday was good. school good. a very nice lunch w/ carley. i feel sick...oh. haha. and then after school i hung w/ roxy and shawn and billy for a couple of minutes but he had to be home. anyways me and roxy went to shawns where we watched his dogs...brother and sister hump as he screamed and kicked at them...it was so funny. then roxy had to leave and i stayed for about 45 minutes more and shawn tried to get inside my trunk from the inside of my car but he got stuck! omg it was the funniest thing ever! we had a fun time and very interesting conversation. sometimes he can be the best. Then i went home and got ready and went to the soccer game. i meet kara and all them up there and then sherrod meet me there.... and we watched the girls kick some ass. they were really good. oh and tiff and sabrina went! i love those girls. oh and josh calhoun drank some of my hot choclate and gave me a hug and then procceded to hump me while we hugged..hes so weird. haha. he makes me laugh so hard....and he told me something rather interesting...hmm...it sucks to be someone right now..but none of my friends...if you get what i mean...but this class is almost over so ....ciao!
oh and Reliant K's new cd is so good! buy it!
current mood: happy
current music: Reliant K- sadies hawkins dance
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Monday, November 29th, 2004
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10:22 am - all i can taste is champayne?
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wow. i dont know how to spell that. im in 3rd period. its boring. except claudizzle is w/ me so thats so cool. haha. well this weekend was good. i slept and worked ALOT! and i hung w/ some ppl...and was really confused/ i dunno by some kid. weird! but the only thing i am looking forward to is NBT4! yes! finally it is this weekend and me and carley are going. i think everyone should go w/ us b/c u remember it forever and it is the best! i have a feeling that carley will get scared b/c ppl get crazy violent sometimes but i will protect her. actually she can handle it. i wish hannah would reconsider and come she would have much fun. lately i have been hooked to sugarcults cd's. all of them. i love the song back to california. if you havent heard it download and listen to it. its so true and beautiful and it makes me a peaceful driver when i am driving which is all the time. and christmas is coming. i dont know what to get for white elephant. why is it called that? i liked secret santa better. b/c theres inside jokes w/ everyone and in white elephant u cant really do that. i dunno. but oh well. i believe it shall be fun! and i say we have a huge new years party soon! this years going bye so fast! your all going to leave me here...that sucks. but college is fun i am sure and i will have a bunch of college friends. i wish u all the best in the future! but i am in a really good mood...now i must go tho b/c the bell is gonna ring! bye.
current mood: happy
current music: all i can taste is champayne- sugarcult
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Friday, November 5th, 2004
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12:08 pm - its like falling down a rabbit hole.
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well i havent been on in so long. no time. so busy. the main point of todays post is that this whole past week almost 2 weeks now have been so shitty! ppl r so fucked up and should die. also someone that is supposed to be one of my best friends has been annoyed w/ me. whatever. honestly im over the whole annoyed at me thing. its old and im over it. i love this person with all my heart and honestly sometimes they can be the best but not #1 on my list for awhile. the randomness of the mood swings is annoying and if i acted like this ppl would not talk to me. and then this person called me and i asked them if they called and there like yeah....and was like short and rude and shot me a dirty ass look. WHATEVER! i am so sick of kissing ass to not get into fights..also this person is like best friends w/ my best friend and i feel this person is taking this person over...which is totally true. i knew this would happen to me. it always does..i told them both..ugh... it makes me so sick. i just want to talk to this person and find out what the hell the problem is b/c its pissing me off. oh well.
tonite i am excited. me and kara are hanging out then im spending the nite.
tommorow nite im going to potluck at aarons then staying the nite at annmarie w/ all my other friends. i have a feeling my senior year wont be as bad anymore. now that i actually made junior friends. that makes me happy. since not much does anymore.
current mood: bitchy
current music: NORA- DIE TRYING
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Sunday, October 24th, 2004
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7:54 pm - yes!
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today was great! school was school but then after ashley williams took me to kash n karry for my interview and i got the JOB! yes i am so extremely happy i could...well call everyone i know...but i think i already did that. i even called matty milly and i think he was surprised for me to call him but he is my friend....so yees i am the newest member of the kash n karry team. i work at the one in zhills right by winn dixie so everyone must come and visit me. my first day is sunday. so woot woot. and tommorow i will not be in school b/c my car is gettin fixed ppl. yes...i am so happy! what would make my weekend 10x's better is if carley doesnt have to go to the beach...i hope not!
current mood: excited
current music: ashlee simpson- autobiography
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Saturday, October 23rd, 2004
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7:00 pm - QuOtEs
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*~*~* Killing myself could easily be done, others would say, "It wouldn't be fun." Behind my clothes the secrets lie, behind my smile, I softly cry. I am hurting inside why can't anyone see? This is how I am, this is the real me *~*~*
I love you, not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you *~*~*
*~*~* A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail, but your best friend is the one sitting next to you saying "that was fucking awesome!"
*~*~* It's only after someone is gone do you realize how much you miss them...<--Sometimes its when they are right there *~*~*
*~*~* Friends are like stars, they come and go, but the ones that stay are the ones that glow
*~*~* Love thy neighbor, but don't get caught *~*~.
*~*~* Fat people are harder to kidnap
*~*~* I'll live forever or die trying...
*~*~* A wise man once said, "I don't know, go ask a woman."
*~*~* Never play leap frog with a unicorn
*~*~* They call it "PMS" because "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken
*~*~* There is hot sex, fast sex, group sex, same sex, leather sex and phone sex but for people with a face like yours theres masturbation
*~*~* You have the right to remain silent...anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you *~*~*
*~*~* there are two, sweet, sensitive, nice, sexy, intelligent guys out there....but there dating each other
*~*~* Sometimes I just smile to cover up the pain… Sometimes I laugh to cover up the hurt… But whether I smile or laugh, I can never hide what I really feel inside…
*~*~* Don't say you love me unless you really mean it, because I might do something crazy like believe it *~*~*
the girl that wrote these quotes is crazy...but i liked these...
current mood:  bored
current music: underoath- #2
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6:46 pm - medium big
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today was a all around good day i would say. i woke up,went to school, and all that crap. it was pretty average and boring until i lunch when hannah and me and carley did a mad-lib w/ urine and such and it was funny. oh and aaron did it to. it was cool. then hannah and aaron left and it was me and carley for lunch. it was nice. and quiet. but like a comfortable quiet. so cool. then the rest of the day passed rather quickly except for in 4th period when me and roxy were writing back and forth and shawn showed him the top of the page that i had wrote...Roxy, hey my one true love or something like that and Mr. Sin read it and shook his head and looked at me funnily so now he thinks i am a lesbian along w/ roxy...which i am not! i guess i need a b/f to make out w/ madly in front of his class so he will believe i am not a lesy. ugh. i hate lesys. then school passed and then at like 5:00pm haha. hannah came and got me and we went to carleys and then we went to the college for the seminar thingy at phcc. so cool. and i saw so many PHS ppl and they all like hugged me hugely! i had the best time. and ehren looked so hot!!!!!! yes...i think i will text him. hm... and me and hannah and carley had alot of fun laughs....
BUI!!!!!!!!!!!!
French kissingS!!!!!
and everything else. i had alot of fun. i definatly missed hanging out like that w/ my best friends. so hopefully we will do that soon!!!!!
(i made this up in regards to something/someone....)
if love is what makes the world go round
why hasnt my world stopped?
current mood: happy
current music: hellogoodbye- jesse buy nothing.......
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Thursday, October 21st, 2004
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5:38 am
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well i just wrote everything i had to write about my sad depressed story and like all my luck and the way its been my computer had a power surge and shut off. if one more thing happens...........
current mood: depressed
current music: my chemical romance-im not okay
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Wednesday, October 20th, 2004
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9:16 am - the worst day of my life
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last nite was the worst nite of my life. here is my story. i was innocently driving down a dirt road rather fastly and the road dropped off and my car bottomed out and the it like didnt want to shift and it is an automatic so weird right? well i called shawn and he said it was my automatic transmission fluid and that i was out of it. ok. so i buy some and fill it up. it doesnt work. so i go to dinner w/ my mom at chilli's and my car is really acting up and i dont feel like its safe to drive on 301 so i decide to go to the road behind walmart. and i decide to go to where it connects to fort king. well i knew the road was closed but i thought it was fixed b/c the sign was gone and the cones and everything so i keep driving and then at this time roxys calling me so i bend down to pick it up and the BAM i hit the into the water!!!!!!!!!!! yeah. so my cars like up to the car door in water and i am FREAKING out. its pitch black my car SHUTS OFF and i am all alone. so i restart my car and i drive my car up on the curb (noty knowing that it is a curb b/c its covered by water. so anyways i drive it up on the curb and i get stuck on the curb and my car wont reverse or drive forward and i am hysterically crying so i call my mom. she comes. i cry and freak out more. then some lady w/ a big ass truck comes hauling ass and she goes through the water b/c she didnt see the water either b/c its so dark. and then im like hey can u pull me out. and so we have to get out and wade in the water. and did i mention that the water is SEWER water? oh ya. and she gets me out. i love her. turns out to be one of brandons ex girlfriends mom. haha. funny how life is. so anyways i get out and make it home. but my car is like fucked. its leaking like oil and transmission fluid everywhere and it wont go in reverse or anything! so my uncles coming to fix it tommorow. either i broke the transmission fluid pan and thats all and it can be fixed or i have to buy another transmission. and im fucked. and i have only had my car for 1 month 4 days. GREAT! and i have a feeling that the same thing that always happens to me in my life is happening again. 1 person knows what i am talking about. and is true.
also i would like to apologize to chelsea b/c i felt i didnt really talk to her all that much at my party and i take her for granted and shes really great! and im sorry i didnt call. i really miss hanging out w/ u and making full house puzzles w/ u and hannah at ur house.
and to my 2 other best friends....i hope u had fun at the beach. we should do something together soon. if u guys want to.
THE END
current mood: angry
current music: underoath- #2
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Tuesday, October 19th, 2004
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8:54 pm - my moves are so hot You'll have to stand under the FAN!!!
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today was good. nothing to complain about. i really liked that carley wore the glasses to school. that made me smile. after school i went w/ hannah to winn dixie and the lady wasnt there so we will have to go tommorow. then i filled out more job applications. and i filled one out @ the winn dixie in dade city b/c thats where alicia works. and guess who was there? brandon....but before that i went to taco bell w/ my sis and there was this HOT punky boy i have never seen w/ a brand new shirt on and he kept looking at ME and smiling. and then i was parked next to him and he was so hot. and then i went to bealls and then i was leaving and he was right in front of me. turns out he was headed to dade city to. so i kinda followed him. but when i got to winn dixie i turned. tho he did not. but he is so hot. then i went home and took a nap. then i went to auto zone and bought car wash and tire shine and then i went home and washed it. then went back off and spray waxed my car and bought rim shiner. so my car looks Sweet and everyones gonna be JEALOUS!!!! and im so lucky. and thats all. i am very happy and i will be 17 in 2 days! and my lil sis ally is 4 tommorow. so happy bday to her!
current mood: happy
current music: hellogoodbye- prom
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Friday, October 15th, 2004
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9:33 pm
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i had such a great nite. friends r great! and i cannot wait until joeys bday party! i love him :) me,roxy,jimmy,karen,matt,billy, and shaun mears all ate at kazbors along w/ all of my preppy friends who were there for joeys party. whitney and melissa made the best cupcakes ever! it was fun. matts car is cool and i am so happy for him. he let me and roxy braid his hair. also before all of this excitement i went and visited hannah who i love. haha. i bought gum and colored pencils. nice. and i also saw gabe. who looked very excited to see me. hes nice. and mark is so cute! haha. and erick dokendorf was there and he is funny. his car is nice. i did not realize the niceness of it. and i am a BAD DANGEROUS driver when i am talking on the phone. utterly bad.
well i just wanted to thank my friends b/c so far this year has been great and i love you all. i dont have the time to write all of your names but you know who u r! muah ;)
also matt miller is the hardest boy ever to get his attention and also troix is a faget caller. haha.
current mood: happy
current music: hellogoodbye
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